24 hours after signing up the website sends me an email
congratulating me for getting 81 views to my profile; told you, great ego
boost. Then why don’t I feel good? Because I want instant gratification like
everyone else in our society. Yes, I’d
had 81 views but were they quality, no. I’m
about to start my Sunday routine of getting in the shower and going to bed, dreading
the week ahead when I decide to scroll through the thumbnails at the bottom of
the app’s screen. There he is! He looks a little like Phil Dunphy, one of my
many TV husbands. I click into his
profile, he’s a doctor! Cha-ching! He has a nice face. I decide to message him. I hadn’t done that up until this point, only
received messages. As I hit the send
button I’m thinking this guy is not going to respond. He’s cute, he’s a doctor, he probably gets
tons of-wait, he responded! Here we
go! We continue to email a few times, we
exchange phone numbers, he wants to call me.
Whoa! Hold the phone. Literally.
Hold. The. Phone.
No bueno! The noise in my house right now is equivalent
to that of a sonic boom, talk about scaring someone away. He knows I have kids but this is not the way
to introduce them. No, let’s keep it to
texting for now. He wants to meet. Roadblock or shall I say Cockblock! My 21 year old daughter (yes, you read that
correctly, I have a 21 year old daughter.
Yes, she’s mine, I birthed her out.
Ok, I was REALLY young when I had her.
Do the math. Done? Get it? Got it?
Good, now get over it. Move on,
there’s much more to see here.) My daughter does not like to babysit for
me. Doesn’t matter how I beg, plead, or
bribe her, she won’t do it. My kids are
mini dictators it’s like living with Stalin and Mussolini. My daughter is also anti-social, a homebody, a
couch potato. She’s obsessed with
TV. She wants to work in the industry so
it’s all good except she tries to lure us into her world and doesn’t like when
we try to escape! Luckily for me I have
a secret weapon, an ally, a partner in crime.
Dadadada- a sister! Yes, she
agrees to come up to my place and babysit while I meet the doctor. Yes, I did it! My second date in two years! Go me, go me, go me!
Hold on! Stop the
press! Who’s that?! I catch a glimpse of another thumbnail. Now keep in mind these pics are tiny but from
what I could see, I had to investigate further.
I click into his profile. Ok, he
kind of reminds me of Dan Cortese when Dan Cortese was popular. If you are too young to know who that is Google
him but make sure you find an old picture because he’s looking kind of plastic
these days, or just click here: http://tinyurl.com/8xo3kah Wait! What?!
Occupation: Hit man. Ok, this guy has gotten my attention, he’s
too much! Hmmm, the doctor responded to
me, what about the hit man? Let’s see, I’m
intrigued! I message him, “You’re not a
hit man!” Response: “Shhhhhh, lol.” Well, well, well. I message again, “Well aren’t you going to
tell me what you do?” He answers. Mommy likey!
He suggests we move the conversation to our personal emails which we
do. By the time I’m snuggling into bed
he’s sent me his number. Time to turn on
the sass! I respond that I need my
beauty sleep and will send him my number in the morning. Not bad for 24hours;)
I wake up the next day feeling great! I have a date tomorrow with a doctor and I’ve
got Dan Cortese waiting for my number.
Life is good. I text Dan and we
have a short conversation. He asks me
when I’m available. This is a toughie, I
need to figure this out. The children
don’t have scheduled visitations with their father, we have a flexible
schedule, but I’m going to have to do something if I’m going to start dating. Let’s start with weekends I say. He tells me he’s 40, cool I’m 37. Up to this point most guys that have shown
any type of interest in me range from 25-30.
Good for a taste but not for a swallow.
And then that was it! End of
conversation! Ugh! Did he think I was younger? Is he into younger girls? Oh well, I’m seeing
the doctor tomorrow.
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